Yes, the title of a song on Kanye's latest album Jesus is King, but also the condition of every church here in Philadelphia and beyond. Despite many churches like my own already being pros at social distancing, with several pews between us at all times and only a wave at the sign of peace, their doors are closed and barred, for where ten or more are gathered, there coronavirus is with them. For the last four and a half weeks, Catholics have been in the season of Lent. How can we go on with our fasting, prayer, and almsgiving when the world is falling apart and we have no church to support us? Jesus did say, "Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast" (Matthew 9:15). Well, here we are, our bridegroom - Christ in the Eucharist - has been taken away from us. While we should mourn, we should also recognize this opportunity to dive deeper into Lent; to reconcile exactly what it means to be without, so that we can truly rejoice when we are with Him, and each other, again.
"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry." Matthew 4:1-2
The Catholic season of Lent derives in part from Jesus' forty day fast in the desert. Jesus isn't led into the town, or the synagogue, or the Temple. He isn't led to a place of worship; he is led into the desert. Can't get much more socially distant than that. He doesn't prepare for his isolation by hoarding canned soup, flour, and toilet paper. He doesn't indulgently buy gallons of ice cream because if not now, when? He doesn't even do as John the Baptist and eat locusts and wild honey! He fasts, and at the end, he is hungry. It is precisely when he is hungry that Jesus is tempted by the devil, but he rebukes the devil at every turn, placing his trust in God alone.
During these days of isolation, we are going to be hungry in so many ways. Physically, as our grocery supplies diminish, as we crave snacks and treats we didn't (or couldn't) purchase, as we can't freely move around. Mentally, as we look at the same few walls day after day after day, as our bank accounts slowly drop, as we worry about getting sick or asymptomatically infecting others. Spiritually, as we long for tangible community, as we watch mass on a screen, as we are separated from those places, people, and things that bring us joy. We will be hungry. We are hungry now. But hunger is not a reason to give up or give in. Fasting is meant to open us up. Jesus fasts so that he can minister.
After the desert, he goes to Galilee and begins teaching his disciples, healing the sick, feeding the hungry, and consoling the lonely. The crisis of a pandemic stirs a desire to help but a difficulty in doing so when under orders to stay-at-home. It's hard to minister when you are hungry. But, like Christ, for now we can shout down the devil. Shout down the devils of fear, greed, selfishness, and pride. We can do what we can now, but more vitally take this time of fasting to prepare to serve better once we are all together again.
We are all - Catholic or not - called to fast at this unprecedented moment in time, for the sake of our own health and safety and that of the whole word. But what does a pandemic fast look like?
"When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you." Matthew 6:16-18
I admit, I'm sitting here in sweats and a sweatshirt (which match, thank you very much). I did not wash my face this morning. I did brush my teeth, but I have not yet brushed my hair. I'll defend myself by saying I am planning to work out later and then shower, but still, I suppose I presently embody the dreaded hypocrite. Last week, I showered on Tuesday and then not again til Saturday. Yikes. Time flies when you're not going anywhere. Amidst all my hygienic woes, however, I did seek to not like "gloomy." I may not have washed my hair, but I took thirty minutes (!) to braid it in a special way. One day I put mascara on. On Sunday, my roommate and I met for our makeshift liturgy dressed up as if we were going to church.
These are gloomy times; each morning, we wake up to news of more people around the world and in our very cities being ill, and some dying. If keeping to a schedule, getting dressed up, or - like I do - doing one thing that makes each day feel new and special, helps you fast, then by all means, do it. Fasting isn't meant to make gloomy times gloomier. It's meant to point those times to a higher purpose, which is, joy. We don't fast because we are ordered to, which would breed resentment. At this time, we fast so that health care workers are safe. We fast so that our grandparents are safe. We fast so that we are safe. This fast should buoy us with the proper pride of responsibility. And when we overcome this trial, we will have joy to be reunited in the flesh again, as the risen Christ was with his disciples.
For it to be focused, fasting is accompanied by prayer. But our places of worship are closed. What do we do?
"When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you." Matthew 6:5-6
For Catholics, Sunday mass is an obligation, not a choice. Unless I am sick, I go to mass each weekend. So you can imagine, last weekend coming and going without a trip to church was a discomfiting experience. One is left to pray at home. One of my roommates watched a recording of the mass. My other roommate and I led our own liturgy and listened to Bishop Robert Barron's homily. There is not right or wrong way to substitute for the immense lack forced upon us now. What is key, however, is to substitute something.
A couple years ago,when my old church St. Rita's announced that they would no longer offer holy week services, attendees were irate and sat at home in angry protest instead of attending Holy Thursday and Good Friday services at another of the dozens of options in a half mile radius. They complained endlessly, choosing to wallow, choosing to be affronted, choosing to separate themselves from prayer. Here we are now, in the midst of a global crisis, and the church doesn't even know if she will be able to open her doors for Easter. Yes, that is something to be gravely upset about, but we have the tools and gifts to still make this time prayerful and fruitful. We have scripture, the rosary, the divine mercy chaplet, encyclicals, saints' lives, and a hundred other means of focusing our attention on God, to keep holy the Sabbath.
Catholic or not, this is an opportunity to go into "your inner room" and think about the hard questions; a time to practice mindfulness (Lord knows we need it, cooped up with the same people all day); a time to read, meditate, pray, and contemplate. Take that time to be alone; it's a rare gift in our busy world that worships productivity. Then, share these quiet moments with someone else. Not because you want to be seen, but because "it is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). We are meant to live in relationship. Alone time and loneliness are different things. Social distancing and social isolation are different things. Restore yourself, and then reach out to others, both for their sake, and for yours.
For fasting and prayer to be fruitful, they are accompanied by almsgiving, but everything is closing and banks accounts are waning. What do we do?
"When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing." Matthew 6:2-3
I struggle with almsgiving. I confess to using part-time employment and low wages as an excuse to be less generous with my money. I wish I was like that widow who gives her only two coins, but I am not. But I take comfort in Peter's words: "Silver or gold I have not, but what I do have, I give you" (Acts 3:6). At this time of being indoors with limited contact with the outside world, in what ways can we give of ourselves?
Maybe we can give our time to others, reaching out to call or video chat distant family and friends more than we usually would. Maybe we can give our skills and talents, like cooking food for the household, or recording songs or performances for the public to enjoy. Maybe we have money to give, and can keep restaurants in business by buying take out and delivery, or shopping at the corner store instead of Whole Foods. Still send money to your church for the weekly collection. Still support that kid in poverty you sponsor. Still clean the toilet, or put away the dishes, or wipe every inch of your home down with disinfectant. Do so, not with fanfare and for praise, but because it is good to do. It's hard work, but let your prayer and fasting support you.
We are seeing so much taken away from us. Each day has new restrictions. Each day brings new and continued suffering. The state of the world may feel like the book of Job, and while we may be tempted to side with Job's wife and say, "curse God and die," we have the tools, as Job did, to get through this. We have fasting, prayer, almsgiving, and friends. Hopefully, by the end of this mess, whenever that end may be, we can answer the Lord as Job did, and say, "I have dealt with great things that I do not understand; things too wonderful for me, which I cannot know. I had heard of you by word of mouth, but now my eye has seen you" (Job 42:1, 3-5).
A safe and healthy quarantine and good Lent to all.
"Many say, 'May we see better times!
Lord, show us the light of your face!'
But you have given my heart more joy
than they have when grain and wine abound.
In peace I shall both lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord, make me secure."
Psalm 4:4-9
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